Why did I write this? Because I am a recent Miami transplant in the DFW and wish someone would make me a road map of this sports town. Also, its my blog and I can write whatever I want.
1. Miami Dolphins
Main Reason: Dan Marino
First of all, you need to know that this is a football town. People in Miami love football as much as they love Gloria Estefan (which is a lot, she’s practically the Oprah of Miami), and the most important football team in town is the Miami Dolphins. Dolfans are born, not converted. Nobody watches our Parcells bred three yards and a cloud of dust offense and decides to give their allegiance to this field goal kicking team. No, the Dolphins are really the only sports team in South Florida with tradition. Parents pass on the Dolphins to their children, and those children to their children.
The most recent time the Dolphins ever inspired neutral football enthusiasts to hitch their hopes and dreams to the aqua and orange was the Dan Marino era. Oh, you’ve never heard of Dan Marino? Then you’re not a football fan, you probably shouldn’t be reading this site, and probably shouldn’t bring that fact up around town. Get this straight, Dan Marino IS Miami. Rick Ross even said it himself.
When Dan Marino was in his prime, we were a force to be reckoned with. Not only did we win, but we won beautifully. Marino would throw precise bombs with his half second release. Marino struck fear into the hearts of opposing teams and fans. The points were guaranteed.
No, we never won a Superbowl with Marino and that’s a sore subject around here, but ask any South Floridian who the greatest quarterback of all time was and the answer is simple.
Close Second Reason: 1972
It won’t be long before you hear Chris Berman talk about the 1972 team popping bottles after the last undefeated goes down. The 1972 Dolphins went 16-0 through the regular season and the playoffs, becoming the only NFL team to complete a perfect season. Sure, the Patriots won 18 in a row a couple years ago, but they couldn’t finish. Thank God for David Tyree’s helmet.
You’re new around here, so do yourself a favor and go look up the 72 Dolphins on Wikipedia. Or if you’re just too lazy to do that, if you ever find yourself in a conversation with a Miami native about the team just say, “Shula, Griese, Csonka. Those were the days.” And stare wistfully into the distance. Your counterpart will most likely start to tear up and shake his head in silence.
2. Miami Heat
Main Reason: The Big 3
“What? I thought you said Miami was a football town.” It is. Just shut up a second and let me explain. No matter how much a civic area is committed to the grid iron, LeBron James changes things.
You have to give it to Mickey Arison and Pat Riley, they are changing the sports culture in Miami. The shot in the arm of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh made Miami feel like a basketball town last year. It was the first time in my lifetime I remember people casually talking about Heat regular season games. Even when we had Shaq that wasn’t the case.
Miami loves flash and star power. Bring us possibly the greatest basketball team ever assembled and we will pack the stadium every game. . . halfway through the second quarter.
Close Second Reason: Alonzo Mourning
We love this tall black man with one kidney. And Zo loves Miami. Google Zo’s Summer Groove. If it wasn’t for frickin’ Michael Jordan, the Miami Heat would have banners up in the rafters celebrating the Mourning-Hardaway teams. Why does MJ always have to ruin everything?
3. College Football
Main Reason: Miami, UF, FSU
These three teams won a combined 10 national championships in the past three decades and should have had more. Each program taking its turn atop the college football universe. Its not a surprise. South Floridians think that we have the best football in the world. You look at any D-1 team and will find some South Florida products there. Its something in the water, you can’t find this kind of speed anywhere else. If you don’t believe me, go to a Carol City-Miami Northwestern game and tell me you’re not impressed. (Just remember to lock your doors, these high schools produced “Thug U.”) Needless to say, the top cut of these future pros normally grow up rooting for one of these three schools and are easily swayed by their recruiters to attend.
Close Second Reason: USF, UCF, FIU, FAU
This is the second tier of Florida football. But these programs are up and coming and feisty. They also deal with a severe inferiority complex of not being in the big three in the state. Thus every year one of them will start 5-0 and declare that they have moved into the big three in place of _____ (whichever of the top schools lost a game) but they normally fade away late in the year and dominate some crappy bowl game.
6. Florida Marlins
Main Reason: Two World Series wins
Soon to be the Miami Marlins. As you can see, there is a precipitous drop from college football to baseball in this town. Don’t believe me? Look at the stands in Sun Life Stadium. One reporter claimed to have counted every fan in the stadium for a game this year. The number reported: Over 10,000. The number of fans he counted: 300.
Sure, we’ve won two championships in the past 15 years but we’ve only made the playoffs twice in that same span. Most Marlins seasons consist of us slashing payroll and trading away any players the fans get attached to. Every once in a while we hit the jackpot on prospects and they gel together into a championship team, but those instances are rare. Of course Cubs fans would probably kill for the odds we’ve had.
There is hope. The long held myth of the Marlins has been that since they’ve had to play in the Dolphins’ stadium and couldn’t reap any of the revenue from stadium purchases the team has had to keep the payroll low. Somehow the Marlins convinced the city of Miami to build them a new 37,000 seat stadium on the old Orange Bowl site to house their 300 fans. But they’ve promised to increase payroll and Cubans will always love baseball.
The best part of a Marlins championship? Pots and pans parades down Calle Ocho.
Close Second Reason: Aliases
10. Florida Panthers
Main Reason: Year of the Rat
If you ask somebody around town about the Panthers, you will probably get a response like, “Wait, they play hockey outside of Canada?” And for good reason. We went to the Stanley cup one year in the ‘90s and lost. I was too young and the memory is foggy. All I remember is people throwing rats onto the ice and John Vanbiesbrouck. That’s about it for proud Panthers moments.
However, there is also hope with the Panthers. After 10 years of mediocrity, missing the playoffs, and generally killing the fan base, the Panthers finally bottomed out and are rebuilding this year. They’ve put together a young and somewhat talented team in Sunrise and might actually make the playoffs. We see red.
Close Second: Randy Moller
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